I am discouraged today.
Can I tell you about it??
My Christopher will have a week of feeling pretty together.
He is calm, friendly, happy.
I take him places and people wonder "what is her problem? this kid doesn't have that big of a problem."
Then, the "detox" happens (as I call it).
All the stresses and noises and chaos just becomes too much for him and he unloads.
This week has been his "detox" week and I HATE it.
I hate it!
He is frustrated and scared and anxious and angry and there isn't much I can do.
We stay home as much as possible and I work on helping him rid himself of all his anxiety.
I am also working on getting him ready for kindergarten.
This goal seems unreachable at times.
Yesterday was coloring.
Let me explain coloring time with Christopher to you.
He can't figure out how to hold a crayon.
The concept is agonizing to him.
His little fingers and little mind can't figure out how to work together.
Figuring out how to make something in his brain come out on paper tortures him.
We spent 3 hours THREE HOURS working on one picture.
While we struggled through the coloring, my Andy turned on his destruction mode and colored the chairs and himself, ripped papers, and threw marker lids around the room.
It was an absolute marathon of patience for me and I am sure for him.
We worked and worked on a picture of a road with trees, playground, cars, and signs.
There were screams and meltdowns and hugs and tears.
But, . . . . we did it.
He drew and colored a picture.
It may have taken us three hours, but we did it.
He was so so proud and I found him looking at it throughout the day.
Author Anna Quindlen says, "The great motherhood friendships are the ones in which two women can admit how difficult mothering is quietly to each other, over cups of tea at a table sticky with spilled apple juice and littered with markers without tops."
Thanks for listening friends, mothers, and readers at my "table littered with markers without tops" and probably a little apple juice too :)
My Christopher will have a week of feeling pretty together.
He is calm, friendly, happy.
I take him places and people wonder "what is her problem? this kid doesn't have that big of a problem."
Then, the "detox" happens (as I call it).
All the stresses and noises and chaos just becomes too much for him and he unloads.
This week has been his "detox" week and I HATE it.
I hate it!
He is frustrated and scared and anxious and angry and there isn't much I can do.
We stay home as much as possible and I work on helping him rid himself of all his anxiety.
I am also working on getting him ready for kindergarten.
This goal seems unreachable at times.
Yesterday was coloring.
Let me explain coloring time with Christopher to you.
He can't figure out how to hold a crayon.
The concept is agonizing to him.
His little fingers and little mind can't figure out how to work together.
Figuring out how to make something in his brain come out on paper tortures him.
We spent 3 hours THREE HOURS working on one picture.
While we struggled through the coloring, my Andy turned on his destruction mode and colored the chairs and himself, ripped papers, and threw marker lids around the room.
It was an absolute marathon of patience for me and I am sure for him.
We worked and worked on a picture of a road with trees, playground, cars, and signs.
There were screams and meltdowns and hugs and tears.
But, . . . . we did it.
He drew and colored a picture.
It may have taken us three hours, but we did it.
He was so so proud and I found him looking at it throughout the day.
Author Anna Quindlen says, "The great motherhood friendships are the ones in which two women can admit how difficult mothering is quietly to each other, over cups of tea at a table sticky with spilled apple juice and littered with markers without tops."
Thanks for listening friends, mothers, and readers at my "table littered with markers without tops" and probably a little apple juice too :)
6 comments:
You are wonderful! I am the hugest fan of that quote! Beautifully said. Throw a bit of sarcasm in there to get a few laughs in (cause those are always relieving) and then get back to the craziness. We've had a bit of a crazy week too but with a potty training 2 year old. Sending hugs your way.
You amaze me, Kristen! Seriously, I can only imagine the things you are experiencing and I just think you are great. Clearly the absolute perfect choice to be Christopher's mother. Perfect.
can i just say.. that picture is amazing.
I totally agree with Christine's comment-- Christopher really did get sent to the perfect mother!
It's exhausting taking care of all the special needs and so much effort goes into a day when you have a cutie bug like Chris, and I know because Shai has her own challenges. Hers deals with her processing and there are meltdowns if things happen too quickly or without explanation. You should feel proud of the effort you are making. Shai's special ed teacher says only about 5% of parents with special needs kids actually do things to help. Parents like you are few and far between. You are very capable but I also understand it's hard to be "fine" all the time. Exhausted is more the word. You are amazing! What a lucky kids you have!
Oh, I know what you mean about when they have those good days and people think there's really not a problem with them. (That's just a whole other issue.) His picture is actually really good! What a big boy. :)
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